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Mar. 13th, 2011

D: / cass

talentedinosaur

(no subject)

Dear Car,

I hate you so fucking much. Ever since we bought you, you have been nothing but trouble. There's always something wrong with you! And you crash/get crashed at in every opportunity and seriously, right now all I want to get a big ass hammer and shatter you to pieces so small nobody would recognize you.

You know I never go out at night. You know it. And when I finally decide to do it YOU WON'T TURN ON? YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. We spendt two hours trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you and found nothing. You just got out of the workshop. You are supposed to be fine. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A BITCH.

PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME A BIGASS HAMMER.

Sincerely pissed,
your current owner.

Sep. 12th, 2009

eellaaii

something suspicious...

dear something I heard a while ago in the back of my door,

why you`d let me hear that? It made me nervous, scared as well.
I`m alone here in my room, if you dont know
so please dont do it again. Okay?

the girl you scared,
elai. 


dear eyebugs,

shoo. go away. you`re a pests. you must not stay close with my eyes. my eyes and I hates you so much because you dont look good at me. is there a pesticide for a pests like this? :D


hate,
elai.

dear insomnia,
you are the major cause why do i have an eyebugs. you dont let me sleep early especially on weekdays. I really need to sleep early on weekdays because of schools. but you dont let me, that`s why im always late. everybody hates you except for the people who works at night.  well, why dont you try to make some change? LET ME SLEEP EARLY!!!!!!!!!



hate,
elai.


dear laptop,
you are the second reason why i always sleep late. and you are the major why I semi-forsaked my studies. Can you please dont be too eye catchy to my eyes so I wont be able to use you, and I will be able to focus on my studies. But thank you for always being there when im depressed.you are my e-bestfriend, seriously.


love and sorta hates you,
elai.

Aug. 31st, 2009

i sing for him.

myscribblingpen

overused.

dear lappy,

you're hot. what's wrong? i've been using you for about 8 hours now.. are you sick? i don't care anyway.

love,
pau.


dear eyes,

are you tired? you're hurting.. want to rest? no, you can't rest. sorry. oh and, please don't come looking for a pair of eyeglasses in the future. i can't afford that. we don't need that. you don't want to look like a geek, right? using the computer for 8 hours straight doesn't happen much, does it? no it doesn't. so just bear with me.

love,
pau.


dear back,

you're in pain, why? try being straight. there, better? good. you better cooperate. i'm not done using lappy yet.

love,
pau.


dear pau,

we're giving up. we can't take it anymore. sorry. we need to rest. unless you want to use eyeglasses in the future and have problems with your posture.. we'll bear with you.

love,
lappy, eyes, and back.


dear lappy, eyes, and back,

you win. we'll rest. dammit. kill joys.

giving up,
pau.

Nov. 11th, 2008


codyodieodie

(no subject)

fgf

Jul. 8th, 2008

crazyface_jean

katytron

office humour! no, not that office.

Dear Whoever It Is In The Office Who Is Eating Something That Smells Delicious,

3:30PM is not a good time for me. I am tired, bored, sore, and totally sick of work. Also, it is several hours after I've eaten lunch, and several hours away from me devouring whatever slosh I can be bothered to prepare myself for dinner.

I have just spent the previous hour goofing off on the internet and as such will be running slightly late. Which means I won't be able to grab even the bilge out of the cafeteria vending machine in order to satisfy my recently-stimulated hunger.

This is your fault. Had you not just purchased and consumed a (hopefully disgusting) meat pie or other such fragrant pastry concoction that wafted over to me, I would not be stuck at work with a rumbly stomach and a scowl.

Sincerely,
Over By The Photocopier.

Apr. 3rd, 2008


precioussnuggle

(no subject)

Dear Greenish Brown Growth located in the back of the fridge,

Please exit my refrigerator.  You are causing a stink that I'm pretty sure has yet to be discovered and made into a Harry Potter Jelly Bean.  I have a feeling at one point in your life you were broccoli but have now evolved into some sort of science experiment gone horribly wrong.  I have ran out of good smelling candles and it's now starting to smell of rotten milk with a side of asparagus, hmm perhaps you were asparagus.  If you do not leave by tomorrow I will use my shot gun.

Gagging,
Me

precioussnuggle

To the cat who is living in my apartment...

Dear Cat,

Why do you insist on biting my ankles every morning?  I am aware of your presence and I understand you want my attention, but must you gnaw on my foot till you reach the bone every morning?  My feet would appreciate your cooperation as well. 

Love,
The other person living in the apartment (the one with the bloody foot)

P.S.  Could you please stop eating,destroying, or otherwise shredding the used q-tips that are in the trash.  It might help with the bad breath you have.




Dear Cat,

If you bite me one more time I might accidentally kick you out the door.

Respectfully Yours,
The Left Foot



Dear over sized human living in my home that I never invited over,

Get the fuck OUT.

Meow,
The King a.k.a. The Cat

P.S. I have 9 lives Left Foot, what about you?

Nov. 20th, 2007

city

f_s_i_s_l_u_v

boo

Dear December 14th,
You seem so close, and so far away. All i ask is that you come faster than normal.
Thanks you
Me



Dear Finals,
I know you are coming to scare me, but i will not be afraid. December 14th and i have come to an agreement that you will go by as quickly as possible. May your pain be swift.
Me

Nov. 7th, 2007


codyodieodie

(no subject)

 dear procrastination,
you are a good friend of mine but im afraid you are a bad influence on my schoolwork.
i think we should go our seperate ways.
maybe tomorrow.

love,
cody

 

dear english essay due tomorrow that i havent started,

i know that ive had a month to finish you. but sadly i have been spending too much time with my friend procrastination. will you please write yourself? it will save me alot of time. if you decide to not agree to my request, i will not go to school and finish it at home.

-cody

Nov. 4th, 2007


codyodieodie

dear moon

dear moon,
why cant you be as good as the sun?
you make me cold at night.

and dont try to act cool and think your better when we have an eclipse.
you just scare people.

love,
codyodieodie

 

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